In the spirit of Labor Day

I decided not to extend myself at all this weekend. I woke Saturday morning, took a shower and brushed my teeth, put on a new set of p.j.s and then traipsed downstairs. To do exactly nothing. I read a book from cover to cover. Watched a little 48 Hours on I.D. (I'm obsessed with that show). Snuggled The G. Basically layin' around, rollin' around. I was merely observing the traditions that Labor Day weekend was founded upon. A break from laborious activity. Cause let me tell you, my life as of late is full of laborious activity (note to reader - very much sarcasm was just employed).

Then Sunday I went to hell and back. We went to the other side of the island to look at king size beds for the THIRD time. However, this time they were having a sale so we bought one. HALLELUJAH! (Obviously, that's not the hell part) Then we went on the Great Area Rug Search. I can't find a flippin' area rug that I like. So I must settle. Sigh. But I finally found some this weekend that weren't so bad. I still haven't settled and bought one yet. I better get one before Jenny and Jeff get here in November or they will think my house is like a cave. Probably only Jeff will think that. So after zig zagging across Honolulu for a rug Jason decided we were going to look for his kegerator for the man cave. Mind you, he was suppose to do this with our friend Jay - who has a vested interest in seeing the man cave complete. Me? I just wanted to go home and continue observing the Labor Day weekend rules. But no, instead I went to hell. Otherwise known as Walmart. We drove around and around and around looking for Sam's Club and the GPS kept taking us to Walmart. So I concluded that since the Walmart was about as big as Manhattan Island maybe it use to be Sam's that was converted to a Walmart. So we decide to zip our bags, hide our valuables, strap on a Glock and try the Walmart. Locked and loaded, baby. (P.S. Debra, I'm just kidding about the gun part.) I can already tell before we even get in that I am going to hate my life as soon as I walk in that store. There is one way in and one way out and there are eleventy billion Hawaiians standing in the way. We get in there, look around, not find a kegerator and turn to leave. All of a sudden I swear all the Hawaiians knew I wanted to leave and they blocked me in. It was like when cats know you don't like them so they crowd you and rub all over you. I was surrounded by a bunch of Hawaiian cats and I just wanted to get out. So I started throwing some 'bows. I started side stepping baskets and mu mus like my life depended on it. Belatedly I remembered I walked in there with a husband, so I threw a glance over my shoulder and he's a few steps back. Laughing at me. I should have karate chopped him right there, but I had to get out. So we finally get out of the store and there is a boy scout group or something equally as annoying asking me if I wanted some stupid brownies. So I dropped kicked him across the parking lot and walked back to our car. We finally get in and Jason still wants to try and find Sam's. I declared then and there that I wanted a divorce. But like the good little soon-to-be ex-wife that I am I soldiered on. And we finally found Sam's after making 3 circles. We pulled into the underground parking garage and I saw Jason's life pass before my eyes. All the eleventy billion people obviously piled into their cars and raced us to the Sam's, but since we made 3 circles around town they beat us there. Every last single one of them. I hated life and I hated Jason. So then we had to go into Sam's, wait in line to get a new membership, TAKE A PICTURE (i was not prepared for this), and then find a kegerator. We found one, walked around a bit, waited in line FOR-EV-ER, and then bought the stupid kegerator. I got to walk away with a big tub of spinach artichoke dip though, so I guess it wasn't a total loss of a day.

And then this morning, since yesterday was such a chore, I awoke and relived Saturday. Except I also had to nurse The G because he might be getting a little cold. And instead of reading I just watched a whole lot of the I.D. network. Tomorrow me and The G are off to get my hair did, by a totally new person - YIKES - and take him to the vet for his doggie cold. I'll let you know the results (of the hair appt. and the vet).


  1. I've been to that Walmart! My camera ran out of batteries, so we had to buy a camera charger. It was originally like $75, but it rung up for like $5. It was obviously an error. We paid and ran like hell before they realized something wrong had happened.